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Note to partners: “Whatever you want Dear” is not an effective support strategy!

2/19/2021

8 Comments

 
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When you’re expecting a baby, it’s exciting, and maybe a little bit scary, to think about parenting this new human together. What will you name the baby? When will you first take her/him out of the house? Where will s/he go to college….?

But before all of that, starting right now, it’s already time for a team approach.
I know that it’s common for the pregnant individual to take the lead, and often the partner feels the best approach during pregnancy is to step back and just say:

                      “Whatever you want Dear.”

However, there are already many important decisions to make well before your baby’s birthday, during pregnancy, and even during labor. And these decisions can impact all three of you in both the short and long term. What you decide may affect the birth-giver’s and the baby’s physical health, everyone’s emotional/mental health and the health of your relationship with each other and with the baby. How birth happens even impacts sexual health. Furthermore, memories of the birth experience, and how the people supporting you made you feel, last a lifetime (1).

So instead of assuming what you might call “traditional gender roles”, consider working as a collaborative team right from the start!


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8 Comments

    Author:
    Dalia Abrams

    M.A., M.P.H, BDT(DONA), CD(DONA), LCCE, CLC

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    I'm a birth activist who is fed up with how birth-givers and babies are treated in health care, specifically, and in our culture globally.
    This blog is a space to discuss the challenges we face and to support the movement to make CHANGE happen!

    You can read more about me here, and about why I started to do birth work here.
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