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PERMISSION to Touch: bodily autonomy during pregnancy and birth.

7/13/2020

2 Comments

 
I’ve always wondered why people feel entitled to touch a person’s belly when it is full of a baby, while it’s culturally taboo to touch it at any other time. -- No one would dream of touching my daughters’ bellies? Why does it seem OK to touch my pregnant belly?
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My daughters: Ayala and Deanna, 2015
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Me, pregnant with Matan, 1999
Photo by Larry Labonte
Along the same lines.... Why is it acceptable to put fingers in a vagina of a pregnant person with no more than a “I’m going to check you now” – when in any other situation, you need permission? 

Why do we tolerate cutting the opening to a birthing person’s birth canal without asking for permission first, when no medical professional would ever cut a patient anywhere without a discussion of risks and benefits and obtaining true consent?

How can one sew up an episiotomy or a perineal tear without ensuring that this sensitive tissue is adequately numbed, when no medical professional would ever sew up a cut or tear anywhere on anyone’s body without adequate anesthetic and pain control?

Why when a person’s body is growing a new life inside, does that body suddenly lose its civil rights, its status as a human being?

Are you pregnant? Here’s what I want you to know:
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You still own your body. Being pregnant does not change your right to bodily autonomy. (To read about this issue from a legal perspective, read The Nature and Significance of the Right to Bodily Integrity here. Full reference below.)

Nobody, not a doctor, midwife, nurse or friend… NOBODY has the right to touch you ANYWHERE without asking for and receiving your express permission. You have a right to deny anyone permission to touch you, and you have a right to change your mind and withdraw your permission after you have first given it.

With that in mind, I want to describe for you what a vaginal exam should look like, so that you can recognize when your rights are being respected.


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2 Comments

Pregnant? Who's responsible for all this???

6/29/2020

1 Comment

 
So you’re expecting a baby. They’ve given you a due date, sent you for tests, scheduled your prenatals… So many decisions are being made…

Wait…

Who should be deciding about the particulars of your pre-natal care?  Your birth experience? Your post-partum course? Who, ultimately, is in charge of your physical health, mental health, sexual health, and the health of your baby?

…Let’s try that again: REWIND<<<<

So you’re expecting a baby. You’ve determined your due date, chosen what tests to take, scheduled your prenatal visits. There are so many decisions for you to make…

Do you want to be a passenger or the captain? The first mate or the private? Not sure? Consider this:
What about Covid-19? YOU are still in charge. See below.

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1 Comment

    Author:
    Dalia Abrams

    M.A., M.P.H, BDT(DONA), CD(DONA), LCCE, CLC

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    I'm a birth activist who is fed up with how birth-givers and babies are treated in health care, specifically, and in our culture globally.
    This blog is a space to discuss the challenges we face and to support the movement to make CHANGE happen!

    You can read more about me here, and about why I started to do birth work here.
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